Heart Surgery To Be Performed By Popular TikTokers

In a bid to build awareness and promote inclusion some of TikTok’s most watched dancers are being offered the chance to perform open heart surgery on unsuspecting patients. Although some have questioned the ethics of these procedures owing to the complete lack of any surgical or medical training in the dancers, others have argued that if the surgeries are successful the whole subject of life or death operations would become much more approachable to younger people.

Vanya Luv, a 17 year old Belarusian known for her high energy kicks whilst mumble rapping in Minsk street argot has promised she will watch one or two YouTube videos on medicinal marijuana to inculcate herself into the culture of medical procedures. The patients would be mostly made up of veterans and those who serve in the essential services, chosen because they in all likelihood would probably be over the moon about being able to potentially sacrifice their lives in order to gain a few views here and there on the Chinese based video app.

Although the organisers are aware there will probably be a high mortality rate, a group of semi famous Twitchers will be drafted in as part of a reality television show to transport, incinerate and dispose of the ashes of the veterans and midwives. Most likely through flushing.

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