Ariana Grande

This pygmy dwarf bimbo has defenestrated her tediously annoying coy underage sex-worker image through the window of the world’s glazed expressionless soul. Objectively highly attractive she has still managed to render herself highly repulsive from the sheer contrivance and smugness of her demeanour.

Pointless in every way as a person except in perhaps being able to show an example to  pre-teens of everything to avoid turning into, there are also rumours of her possessing a very large and very low hanging labia. This last fact was invented by this writer hoping that it would catch on in the same way Richard Gere’s gerbilic encounter has and that it would be this highly embarrassing feature that she will be remembered for instead of the single digit IQ aural dross she currently excretes.

Her last album was shit too… were all the others. Surprise !

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