Known as the Trendy Vicar of Death to Lucifer and his minions, ex UK Prime Minister Blair has been one of Satan’s most gifted recruits. Tony first fell head over heels with the forces of darkness and the worship of the great Unclean One during summer holidays as a child when he found himself at wit’s end with nothing to do after torturing every available living creature in his back garden. Then, in what would be a constant feature throughout his life, he picked himself up, dusted himself off and threw himself whole heartedly into the destruction of all that is good in the universe.

His first attempt at defiling everything we know to be of worth was through the medium of adult orientated soft rock but this proved to be a dead end when he was cruelly reminded by successive audiences that the name of his group, Ugly Rumours, was in fact misleading as he was in fact demonstrably and very clearly extremely ugly without any need for insinuation whatsoever. This was a low point for the pointlessly vain future PM and he seriously considered ceasing his assault on everything we know that is decent about humanity until miraculously, like an angel falling out of the sky and hitting the kerb of every cloud on the way down with her face, he met someone even more physically off putting than himself.

Ladies and gentleman I introduce to you Cherie Blair.